Blogger decided to wave the magic Blogs of Note wand over me! Now that some guy named TG has taken the time to spam every entry I've ever written with a link to his "custom wood furniture," I suppose I should answer a few questions. By the way TG, I admire your pluck, but if you want adspace please send me one million dollars first.
(1) You spelled Crymes wrong.
First of all, that's not a question. Second of all, it's my last name so no I didn't spell it wrong. The dictionary spelled it wrong.
(2) Is that really your last name?
Yup. I married into it. My maiden name involved a slang term for the male anatomy. When I took the PSAT many moons ago, I was required to bubble in the first four letters of my last name, followed by my first initial, followed by my middle initial, which spelled out, wait for it:
The PTA-mom proctor of the exam walked by and told me to "TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!" I didn't have a photo I.D. at the time so they had to call the assistant principal down to confirm that no, I was not actually f*cking off. For once.
I really like my new last name. The Husband it came with is cool too.
(3) Why "The Crymes Syndicate" then?
Ever heard of a little place called Earth-3?
(4) What are you doing here?
Running my mouth on the internet. What are you doing here?
(5) The photo of you in your "About Me" is really small. I can't tell if you're hot.
Again, not a question. But here you go:
You've interrupted my binge. And no, I don't pluck these brows.
Here are some entries I'm particularly proud of:
Stuff My Parents Taught Me: There's No 'C' in Klingon
Karma is a Bitch and I'm Gonna Delete All You Haters! (Please Like Me.)
Don't Make Fun of My Sunflower Shoes, I Will Fork You Up
The Sliding Scale of Suck
Your Mother Got Engaged on a Pirate Ship!
So there you have it. Now subscribe! I'll need about one thousand of you to fire up the death ray and take the world hostage for a lifetime supply of Oreos. Let's make it happen, people. Teamwork makes the dream work. I'll even share the Oreos after I'm done licking off all the frosting.
You can also follow me on The Twitter for more hijinks.